In The Red Letters

I'm an honored father.  Honored to be the father on one of our Fathers daughters.  My eldest daughter, now 19, displayed her spiritual maturity a couple of weeks ago, I'd like to share the story with you.

I love my daughters, both of them.  I pray for them, their husbands (to be), their marriages, their children and grandchildren.  I've spent countless nights without sleeping thinking about and praying about them, my eldest in particular. As a father, following the Father of Lights, I've taught my daughters about Adonai (the Lord), His Word, living for Him, honoring Him, and most importantly - Knowing Him in a personal intimate way.  That said, here's what happened.

Over the last year to year and a half, my eldest daughter had gotten extremely disrespectful to me and my wife.  She'd grown increasingly manipulative, causing much contention between my wife and I.  She was also very selfish and rebellious.  I've lost many nights of sleep praying about what to do.  She plans on attending a Bible College this fall but her behavior was anything but Christlike.  My sweet perfect loving respectful beloved daughter was driving me bonkers.  She lives in our guest house, so as to try to give her more freedom and teach her independance.  After all, she will be gone someday and this I know is the best for both parent and child.  While living here she only has four things she needs to do.  1. Pay her small rent which mainly covers her electricity usage.  2. Keep the house clean, not spotless but not a dump.  3.  Make time for fellowship with other believers, to include a weekly Bible study as a family.  4.  Honor, as in respect, her father and mother.  Well, one out of four isn't bad.  Or is it?  I knew what was causing the majority of her problem, she was not fellowshipping.  Not with believers, her family, or most importantly - Elohim (God).  She hadn't been to church for about three months.  Almost anytime we had to do our weekly family Bible study she managed to get out of it with other plans.  She was spiritually starving herself to death and the effects were obvious, not only in her but in how it affected the whole family.  I prayed and prayed, as I have been for the last year and a half, "Papa, what do I do?"  I'd thought about kicking her out, but being that I already worried about her I didn't want to worry even more.  At least here I knew she was safe.  I thought if only we can hang on until she gets to Bible College.  I know she was thinking the same thing.  The problem is, when we, as followers of Messiah, keep ourselves away from Him and fellowship with other believers we become weak.

After laying awake in prayer all night I came to a decision, she had to move out.  It was time for her to be on her own.  After all, her behavior showed that is what she wanted, to be completely independent.  I decided it was time to help her do just that.  I was rather surprised what happened to me later that morning.  I had this un-explainable inner peace.  God peace.  I hadn't felt such peace for a long time.  I was very thankful to Elohim (God) for His peace.  As His word states in Phillipians 4:7 - And the shalom of Elohim (peace of God), which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Messiah Yeshua (Christ Jesus).  Indeed, the peace I felt did pass all understanding.  Odd how Elohim can give us such inner peace, even when we have to do or say something which we don't want to do because of fear.  Hey, it just hit me, 1 Yochanan-John- 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love.  Todah Abba.  That explains the peace.  It was time to talk with my beloved about it, and then inform my daughter of my decision.

Know I know it's hard being a teenager, I remember my own teen years.  Stuck between being not a child anymore, yet not really an adult either.  I think Adonai may have made the teen years as such so children would have a desire to leave home on their own, and as parents we would want them to go.  But being an adult I also know that life isn't as easy as you think it is when you're a teenager.  Rather, it's not easy at all.  Neither was what I was going to tell my eldest, but she had to go.  I knew she was just toying with sin, trying to just get close to the flames without getting burnt until she got to school.  Then everything would be back to Jesus Jesus Happy Happy.  I've done that, you always get burnt.  As I heard one preacher say, "sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay."  Indeed it will, every time.

So, after talking with Amy she and I sat down with our daughter to tell her.  This is what I told her, as well as I remember.  All day the story of Cain and Abel, concerning their bringing sacrifices to Yahweh (the LORD).  Cain was mad because Yahweh did not have respect on his offering of the fruit of the ground.  Cain was very angry and had a sad countenance and Yahweh asked him why he was so mad with the long sad face.  Yahweh told him that if he (Cain) did what was right he would be accepted of Him, but if he chose not to then sin lieth at the door and desires you but you must master sin.  (Gen 4:3-7)  We know from the next verse that Cain chose to allow sin to master him instead of him mastering it.  The choice is ours.  Yeshua (Jesus) broke the curse of sin and has restored the choice to us.  You are legally an adult now.  You can do what you want to do.  Elohim (God) has given us all free will, to choose.  He won't make you obey and neither will I.  I can't make you be respectful of your mother and I.  I can't make you go to church.  I can't make you do Bible study with us.  I can't make you pray.  I can't make you read your Bible on your own.  These choices are yours and you've chose not to do them.  However, we discussed these when we agreed to let you move into the guest house.  I understand now about the story of the momma bird kicking the baby bird out of the nest.  It's apparently your time to fly, to be on your own.  I love you, you're always welcome here but you need to experience life on you own right now.  I'll always worry about you, I've learned that will never end no matter how old you get.  That's just part of being a parent.  But I can't watch you undo everything Adonai (the Lord) has done through your mother and I.  I'll always pray for you but you must choose to follow Yahweh (the LORD), His Word, His Way and your own.  The choice is up.  I can't make you be a Christian and Elohim (God) won't make you.  I want Elohim to bless you but He can't when you won't obey Him and His Word.  He won't contradict His Word, He can't.  His love is unconditional.  His blessings are not.

She said she was expecting it and thought it would probably be better for her little sister if she moved out.  She said she had thought about moving out but knew she wouldn't do it unless we made her do it.  I knew she was upset, though not nearly as upset as my wife and youngest daughter were.  I felt rather odd afterwards, the rest of the night, and throughout the next day - I still had this incredible peace.  I didn't want my baby to leave.  Although often I can't wait, generally I dread the thought.  But I know, only Adonai (the Master) can truly protect her, body, soul and spirit.

I spoke with a few friends about the whole matter, men, husbands and fathers themselves.  I was surprised that they told me the same thing.  They said they knew it was very hard and they were proud of me.  They stated they knew it was a very hard decision, as sometimes things which Elohim commands us as fathers to are.  They were encouraged to see another father obey The Father.  Todah Abba for the encouragement, you never leave us without confirmation, comfort and encouragement for standing upon You.

Throughout that next day Elohim continued to remind me how He always gives me "an out."  You know, the whole 2 Chronicles 7:14 - If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.  No matter my choice, obedience or rebellion, He always gives me an out, always.  His mercy is new every moment of every day, all we have to do is choose - His Way.

I shared this with my eldest later that day.  I wanted her to know, she had an out just as Abba always gives all His children, the choice was hers.   Now comes the "Honored Father" part of all this.

She asked me later that day if she could stay.  She apologized for being so disrespectful to me and for being so selfish.  She said that after our previous talk she was really afraid and seriously cried out to Elohim.  She remembered being at the camp this summer where she plans on attending Bible College.  Adonai (the Lord) told her of how He wanted to bless her life and use her to bring Him honor and glory.  But, He told her it was dependent upon her treatment and submission to her earthly father, me.  I'd forgotten as well that she'd shared that with me when we were driving home from the airport upon her return.  She said she knew the devil was trying to ruin all of the plans Elohim had for her and her life, and that he'd succeed if she left home before it was time.  She said she would make a serious effort to be respectful of me and her mother and make time for fellowship, prayer and reading Abba's Word.

So, I am indeed an honored father.  I'm honored our Father has entrusted me with his daughter.  A daughter who listens to The Father, hers and mine.  It takes spiritual maturity to suck up your pride, humble yourself, and obey Yahweh (the LORD).  We followers of Yeshua say it, but how often do we do it?  As Yeshua himself stated - And why call ye me, Adonai, Adonai (Lord, Lord), and do not the things which I say? (Luke 6:46)  As well as verse 44 of the same chapter - For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes.

We are indeed known by our fruit.  Yahweh, help us to bear much fruit for you by your planting, watering and growing the fruit of Your Word Yeshua in us and through us.  In my beloved daughter of Elyon (Most High God), bear much fruit.  So if you know her, pray for her.  Yeshua has huge plans for her.  I know, he almost took me out of the way (as in from earth) for considering getting in His way of them.  HaSatan (the adversary - the devil) seeks to hinder her.  Pray she won't let him.  Pray she walks in the Spirit, obedient to The Word and masters sin.  His power is in her to to it, as it's been made available to us all.

The choice is hers.  The choice is mine.  The choice is yours.  The choice is ours.  Choose!

Shalom.  As many of you know, Sara and I went to see Toby Mac in concert a few weeks ago.  If you listen to Christian music then you know Toby Mac is probably the biggest Christian artist there is.  He also has his own record production label out there which produces a large amount of the music you hear on the radio.  We also got to meet him and speak with him for awhile.  We went for Sara's Christmas present from her mother and I.  We purchased VIP tickets, which as far as I knew was simply to get seats up front.  If you know Sara, you know she loves Toby Mac, he's by far her favorite musician.  What I want to share is how our being obedient to Elohim (God) allows Him to touch more people than we are ever aware of.

For several days leading up to the concert I had some things on my heart which I really wanted to share with Toby.  Mostly words of encouragement.  I also wanted to pray for him and his family.  While we were en-route, driving through Idaho, I started praying.  I told Yeshua I really wanted to talk with Toby and if it was His will would He please somehow make it possible.  I knew that He would, if it was His will.  This has happened to me before, where He's allowed me to speak with Toby several years ago, Rebecca St. James, and Jeff Deyo (original singer for Sonic Flood).  I've witnessed how each time Adonai (the Lord) used me to bless and encourage them, as He did with me by answering my prayer.  Well guess what, He did it again!

Little known to me at the time, but our VIP tickets meant we, and about thirty other people, were going to privately meet Toby before the concert.  Sara and Toby talked about music and her playing.  She expects to open for him someday, of which I'm sure she will.  I got to share with Toby why I liked him so much.  Basically I told him I appreciated that he left no doubt as to who he is singing to whom he is singing about.  I shared with him that I'm not big on grey areas, in myself or in general.  Either be hot or cold, not lukewarm.  Be who Elohim has called you to be, and what He's created you to be.  I don't remember everything I said to him but that's the jest of it.  I did give him one of our hats from In The Red Letters.com with my logo on it.  I told him about the opening video, to which he stated "I know that song."  Which of course he does, since it's his song (dcTalk).  We got our picture taken with him and then I got to pray for him.  I felt honored to be able to pray for someone who has the opportunity to influences so many believers.   After talking with him I was talking to a brother there with my arm wrapped over his shoulder.  I had no idea he was one of the main singers in Toby's band.  We just talked about how awesome Elohim is and Toby's new song "City On Our Knees."  My favorite song of his by the way.  I'll try to remember to put it on this post when I'm done.

So how did what was on my heart, which I shared with Toby, effect others?  About halfway through his performance he gave a testimony about what God was doing.  He then repeated my words to an audience of several thousand people.  Judging from the crowds reaction they were inspired.  I had know idea he was going to do that, but Abba did.  Abba, Eloheynu (our God), is an encourager.  It just goes to show how our being obedient to Elohim (God) allows Him to touch more people than we are ever aware of.  The numbers aren't what matters.  Remember the 99 sheep and the one lost sheep in Matt 18:12

And Luke 15:7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and ninejust persons, which need no repentance.

Everyone matters to Eloheynu (our God).  Everyone!

So be encourage, as I was encouraged.  When we are obedient to Him, there is no limit to what He will do and to whom He will touch.  After all, He is El Shaddai, The Almighty God.

But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Adon (Lord) and Saviour Yeshua Mashiyach (Jesus Christ). To Him be glory both now and for ever. Amein.  II Kefa (pet) 3:18.

What does Proverbs 22:6 mean?  In my KJV Bible it states: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  The difference between English and `Ibriy, pronounced ib-ree' (Hebrew) often amazes me.  In `Ibriy (Hebrew) the verse states: (read right to left) ×àÚ Üàâè âÜ-äÙ ÓèÛÕ ÒÝ ÛÙ-ÙÖçÙß ÜÐ-ÙáÕè ÞÞàÔ - Dedicate (chanak as in Chanukah) to the youth on the bidding of the way of him even that as he is growing old he shall not withdraw (turn aside) from it.  One difference, in `Ibriy it actually instructs us to dedicate (train up) a child in "his way."

Most of us, when we read Prov 22:6, think it teaches us that if we train up our children in the ways of Elohim (God), i.e. accepting Yeshua (Jesus) as their Savior, living a Godly moral life, etc. that when they are adults they will automatically live a "good Christian" life.   That's partially true, we are to teach them of Yahweh (the LORD), His Way, His Word and how He wants them to live, but that is not exactly what the verse teaches us as we see from the original text.  Some examples of this not being the case is evident by some notorious people from past and present.  Charles Darwin (chieftain in evilution teaching in our public school system), Karl Marx founder of Communism, Alice Cooper (Rock musician who took his name from a witch), Marilyn Manson (Satanic musician), and others.  And look at the behavior of many children being raised in "Christian" homes.  Many are just as pagan and sexually active as, well, pagans.

I've discovered, over the last sixteen years of diligently seeking Yahweh's help in prayer for raising my own two children, that He has been doing what the verse states.  Since He has done it in me, I know many of you have learned the same thing from Him.  Even though I had no idea until a few months ago how this verse is written in `Ibriy.  I had been trying to raise them according to the typical Christian doctrine as stated above, but knew in my soul there was more to raising His children then what I at the time knew the verse to mean.  I know Elohim (God) created each and everyone of us for a particular reason.  He created us, them, for something unique.  I also knew it was my responsibility, and privilege, to search out the matter (Pro 25:2).

So what does it mean to train them up in their way?  Well, as my daughter Sara so often states when I ask her what a verse means, "exactly what it says."  This verse teaches us to dedicate our children in their way.  As in what has Elohim put inside of them which He wants to come out, what they were made for.  Allow me to share a small portion of my experience with my own two daughters.

First, my gifted honored firstborn, Kyni bat Elyon (daughter of the Most High God).  I've know since she was about three that she was created to be a comforter, through words, actions and song.  It is something she has always naturally done.  Like most children, she has showed different levels of rebellion (how about them teen years - :|), both to us her parents, and to Elohim.  I knew that this, if left unchecked, would harden her heart.  The result would be her being of no heavenly good to others in comforting them in a holy way.  Remember, the gifts and calling of Elohim are without repentance (Rom 11:29).  He doesn't take it back, but He does desire we use them for His glory, not carnally in a hellish selfish way.  It's up to us to observe them,  ask-seek-and knock, so we know what "their way" is.  For this reason I've gotten onto her rather quickly throughout her life to help her prevent her heart from hardening.  To her it has seemed as though I'm stricter on her than on her younger sister.  I'm not denying that either.  We tend to be more strict on the firstborn.  Our "learning" child.  As they grow, we grow.  But the foundational reason has been to dedicate her to Adonai (the Lord) in her way, her gifting, her calling, placed in her by Him.  She's almost an adult now, legally she is, and I can see the seeds of prayer growing into fruition in her.  Now it's up to her to be responsible with the gifts and calling Elohim has placed inside of her.  She is blessed with a voice to match the gifting of her spirit, to worship Eloheynu (our God).  Though she gets very nervous singing publicly we have tried to encourage her over the years to focus on Who she is singing too, not the humans listening.  She's getting there.  One day she'll be there.  I know the foundation is laid, which will stand as she "grows old."

With Sara, my gifted princess from El Hay (The Living God) I've had to do the same thing as far as prayer.  Sara was created for an entirely different reason than her sister.  It has been very difficult for me balancing between not quenching her bold attitude, which she will need in life for her calling, and letting her "get away" with too much.  Plus, she's the baby.  Not a baby, but the baby, growing into a lovely young woman.  Sara will have to stand, no matter what others think, say, or feel, in obedience to her calling.  But she, like us all, has a rebellious attitude which could ruin her if allowed to go too far.  She too has been blessed with a wonderful voice, so Kyni tells me-she won't sing for me :( but I believe it.  She also has taught herself to play piano wonderfully, can learn any instrument she gets her hands on, and is incredibly artistic.  But, all these gifts in her will not glorify Yahweh (the LORD), if she is not trained in the importance of them and putting them to use throughout her daily life.  It's up to us, her parents, to mine these treasures.  We still have a couple of years together with her.  I see the seeds of prayer growing in her as well.

It's up to each parent, especially us fathers, to seek out Elohim on behalf of our children.  To learn of our children, discover what it is they are gifted with, and then mine baby mine.  Bring out the gold.  They truly were made for a reason.  If we help them grow in their way, they will walk in their way well into their old age.  In doing so they will walk in His Way, The Way.  Something I try to keep in mind is this;  I'm not only raising them as children, but as adults, as wives, as mothers and eventually grandmothers.  I'm not as nearly concerned with their now as I am with their entire lives.  What will be our response at the Judgement Seat of Messiah on how we raised His children if we don't do our part in bringing out the gold He's planted inside them.

All this needs to be done, without leaving the other undone.  It is still our responsibility to also teach them of Yahweh's love (Yochanan - John 3:16) for them,  To KNOW Yeshua, and grow in their relationship with Him.  Knowing the Word of Yahweh and following it's precepts.  What an awesome honor it is to make Talmidim (Disciples) of Messiah out of our own children.  So train them up parents, in their way, in His way, in The Way.  Dig deep, plant deep, the seeds will always remain.  Elohim will continue to build upon it... well into their old age.